One of my favourite things about myself is my ability to recognise what is bothering me, give it a name, give it a place and then sit and stare at it for awhile. It is entirely possible that this highly desirable trait regularly drives my husband up the wall.
It would be incorrect to say that I am a ponderer. However, if there is something in my life that I need to resolve (or fix), then I do like to sit and ponder. Reflect on the problem. Get irritated with the problem. Vocalise how I feel about the problem. Try to dissect the problem. Lay down for a bit until I am ready and energised to vocalise a little more on how I feel about the problem. Eventually, when everyone around is at their wits end, I might just think about solving the problem.
My current problem is my lack of time. I must admit, it did take me some time to realise that I have a problem with time. The main reason was that I was too exhausted and falling asleep. However, now my body is adjusting to the rigours of working and I seem to have a little left over energy for thinking. And all I can think about is the many things that I need to do. Unfortunately for me, my energy levels have not yet recovered sufficiently that I can do anything about this. (If you live near by and disagree … I don’t want to hear about it … smiley face).
Once upon a time in a world not so far away, I was not time poor. I was time rich. I had plenty of time to waste … and I did. I am so glad I did. Otherwise, I would be feeling so miserable now. It would feel as if I had let a golden opportunity slip by.
Since I did embrace the luxury of time while I had it. Since I did wallow in it and often achieved very little, I did not adequately prepare myself for the time when it would be gone. Like now.
Now I have less time (I’d say little because I have to allow some periods for complete exhaustion to take over thus depleting my time even more) I am often frustrated that I don’t have the time to do the things that need doing let alone the things I want to do. For instance, my cupboard needs to be tidied so I can hopefully find my watch and my wedding ring. I was going to do that today but decided to write two blog posts instead. Now the day is over. I could start but it’s almost dinner and the period of the evening where I put my feet up and relax is fast approaching.
I seem to be spending my precious time on things that ‘need’ to be done rather than things that I ‘want’ to do. I believe that it might be possible for me to resolve this issue by taking less time to put my feet up and relax. However, the relaxing is keeping me sane.
So as I finish off, think of me, staring at the door of my messy cupboard as I ponder when I will actually get off my butt and tidy it up. It is beginning to irritate me somewhat.