Tomorrow is my first day of paid employment since 2001. That’s right. I haven’t worked outside the home for over 11 and a half years.
The last few weeks have been a little up and down as I have tried to adjust to a few new concepts. The first surprise was when the opportunity first presented itself. It was the middle of January, the kids were on holidays and I was preparing to enjoy some time with my aunt. The next thing I knew I was attending an interview and talking about working full time.
Another interview followed before the waiting began. Anyone who has ever read my resume (not that many people really) should note that nowhere does it mention that patience is a skill that I possess nor really understand the meaning of. So when I was told I would hear within the week, well I checked my iPhone every day of that week. The scariest moment was when I was sitting on the beach in Lorne, in the sun, and waves lapping the shore. What was I doing? Not bodysurfing. Not improving my suntan (because I don’t tan). No! I was busy checking my inbox. To the point that when my husband asked if I had checked, I commented, “Define how many times I need to check before I’m defined as crazy.”
I didn’t hear that day. Unfortunately, they needed a little more time. Another week and a half. Did I mention that patience was not my strong point? Thankfully my impatience (and slight case of insanity) did not convey itself through my emailed reply. Let me say that was not a fun week.
I am assuming that most women know that they have all experienced some degree of a mood swing. Personally, I am rarely aware of the swinging while I am doing it. I have been known to ask the hubby if I was perhaps a little nutty yesterday. He generally applies in the affirmative … after taking a good look at my eyes and stepping away.
Well last week, I was swinging. So badly that I felt the upward climb and the downward spiral. It started to make me feel ill and I didn’t like it at all. One day I was planning my wardrobe, chatting about what shoes I would wear, booking the kids in childcare ‘just in case’, and working out how I was going to spend my millions. Minutes later I was bemoaning the coffees, the lunches, the catchups with friends, with nephews and the knowledge that my time was my own to spend as I wanted. There goes my (non existent) novel, my reading plan, my genealogy research, the new wardrobe I planned to knit and the accessories I was going to sew. I could already feel my creativity be stifled, my social life becoming stunted. Those two extremes were repeated over and over. Such fun!
Then I became rational. I dropped back into despair. If I didn’t get this job then I was going to have to look for another one. I did not want to do that. By Thursday, I was looking for my strait jacket because crazy Kim was ready to come back out and party.
Thankfully, Friday morning arrived with a phone call. By Friday afternoon, I’d signed on the dotted line and was happy once more. Is it sad to admit the level of joy coursing through my body as I happily deleted the SEEK updates in my inbox. No more job hunting for me!
So tomorrow, I will wake up, get dressed, make lunch for the kiddies (unless we’re super organised and they manage to work it into their new routine), make lunch for me, put on makeup, drive to school very early, leave them at before care and then go back to a life I remember from a long time ago.
It’s all very exciting … in the I feel sick if I think about it too much.
So … there you go. That’s my news. My old life is fading away. The new is waiting for me tomorrow.