Ennui

I’m thankful for a beautiful rose garden that brings me constant joy.

One of the beauties of having children is the constant state of curiosity that they seem to live in. They challenge your intellect seeking to make sense of the world around them. My children are constantly asking me the meanings of words. Words that I use in everyday language, that I believe I use correctly. Words that I know the meaning to. Meanings that fly out the windows of my brain as soon as I am asked to define them. Thankfully the kiddies are now old enough that I can suggest they find a dictionary or search google to expand their skill base rather than highlighting the deficiencies in my own.

Today I was going to write about the state of ‘blah’ that I find myself in at the moment. The complete lack of desire to do anything except look over the fence and see the greener pastures that I can not frolic in. ‘Blah’ is obviously not the technical term for this condition and I had desired that it be called ‘Ennui’. It sounds lovely and much more sophisticated than ‘blah’.

Before putting finger to keyboard, I thought that I had better quickly look it up and save myself the trouble of appearing to be an idiot. Not sure that I am glad that I took my own advice. ‘Ennui’ is not something exotic much to my complete disgust. It means boredom. I am typing this while wearing slippers and a dressing gown. A perfectly acceptable outfit, I thought, for a case of Ennui. Now that I know it is boredom, I have a sudden desire to have a shower and get dressed!

When I was studying german in high school, I was struck by the word ‘langweilig’. I thought it sounded wonderful (I still do). It rolls off the tongue and seems to describe what I am currently feeling. The thing is, I rarely use it. To myself, yes, I do say, “I’m feeling a tad ‘langweilig’ today.” Out loud, not so much. The reason is that ‘langweilig’ means boring. I am never boring!

It is almost five months since we arrived back in Melbourne and I am approaching the bottom of the bell curve. The excitement of moving has abated and the reality begins to set in. Suddenly I recall all the wonderful things I am missing. My friends, the walking tours, the coffees, the chats, knitting circles, familiarity, friendship, laughter, lunches, excursions … . At times I would do anything to be back amongst it all.

As it is the season to give thanks, I am thankful for my friends. Thankful for messages sent letting me know that I am missed as much as I am missing. Thankful for good times shared. Thankful that there are friendly faces for me in all corners of the world. Thankful that technology allows us to keep in touch. Thankful that our repatriation has worked out so well. Thankful for our health. Thankful that my children have fitted into their new lives. Thankful for their inner strength and resilience. Thankful that I can now share in all the family gatherings that I missed in the past. Thankful for the new friendships being formed. Thankful for the love that surrounds me.

The good news is that there is a rainbow on the horizon. Once you hit the bottom, the curve does start to travel back up. Away from the doldrums. Away from the ‘blah’.

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2 Responses to Ennui

  1. Sounds like you’re leaving Blahsville behind on the way to Contentedtown 🙂

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