Thriller Story

This is a very short story I wrote for one of the modules in my most recent unit.  Hope you enjoy it.  We were asked to try our hand at crime writing.  

Frank runs out of the house towards the back paddocks.  He can hear his sisters shouting and his father’s deep voice in the distance.  As he rounds the corner of the house he skids to halt.  Shock reverberates throughout his body at the sight in front of him.

“Daddy!!!  Please put the gun down.”  The fear in Emily’s voice was palpable.  She had their younger sister, Susan, pushed behind her on one side and Brian on the other.  She is guiding them backwards toward the house.  Her gaze is intent upon their father who stalks them with his rifle.

Frank freezes.  He has no idea what he should do nor why his father is walking towards them with a gun.

“Please Daddy!  It’s me, Emily.  Please put the gun down.” Emily’s voice is trembling as she continues to push the younger children behind her.  Frank stares at his father wondering what is wrong with him.  The rifle is aimed directly at Emily.  The butt tight against his shoulder, his finger poised on the trigger.

His father is talking again.  He’s yelling and sounds like he is calling for someone.  What on earth?  Frank glances across the field trying to see who it is his father is talking to.  His father’s deep voice is unclear.  A deep muttering in the distance.

“John!!!” Frank’s head spins at the sound of his mother’s voice.  She runs from the house towards her children.  “Put the gun down!  You’re at home.  We are not the enemy.  Please John!  They’re your children.”  Sobbing she continues to run, stumbling in her steps.

At the sound of her voice, Brian turns away from Emily and runs towards his mother.  Fear spikes along Frank’s spine as the crack of the rifle rips the air.  “Nooooo!” He runs towards his brother as Brian falls to the ground.

His father’s movements no longer important, Frank joins his family as they run towards the young boy.  Another crack ripped the air followed by the sound of Emily’s scream.  Susan falls to the ground and Emily with her.  Frank continues to run towards his family.  The sound of his feet pounding on the ground indistinguishable from the heavy pounds of his heart.

He can’t see.  He blinks his eyes trying to see the scene in front of him.  Another crack rips the air.  His feet are so loud he barely hears it.  He trips as a sharp pain pierces his thigh.  His knee hits the ground and he looks up.  He stares at his father.  The gun pointed directly at him.  Another shot and … .

This story was inspired from the notes my grandmother handed to me of our family’s history.  Beside the name of a great great aunt, is the name of her husband and their children.  The two boys were killed by their father and one of the daughter’s injured.  

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2 Responses to Thriller Story

  1. Kristine Holland says:

    It is well written and sadly too well understood…..imagine a child looking into the eyes of the father he loves who has a gun…trust being dismantled… love neurons combining with fear….disbelief and confusion twirling…. frozen and immovable….acceptance of fate….due to total shattering of the tiny mind into thousands of pieces….

  2. Laney says:

    Thanks Krissie. The story always fascinated me primarily bc it was outside my realm of understanding. With time, the reasons have become clearer but no less tragic.

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